Friends and fall for ♥♥ again,

Wasaauupp Folks? Haha. Okay so where should i start? Okay scratch that, So for the past few weeks (weekend) It was an extremely SUPERB its like beyond SUPERB. I had a great night, Hanging out with my beloved bestie, Tiena Turner. And the Dudes, Bally, Ejad, Danny, Mel, Zali, Raja, Afai and the rest. We went out like all night long, Its like there was no tomorrow. I had so much fun with them ♥♥.




♥♥♥
Okay SKIP that. Love Love and Loce. Remember the Dugong that i mention about? Well, We are officially In a Serious Relationship, 11th July 2010, 2:28am. I never felt like this kind of relationship before. I was so happy and its like love at the first sight. He really did took care of me. He gave me some advices about musics and life. He wasn't just my LOVE, My Boyfriend and even My Hero he was more than that. Yeah, i know i might sound a lil' 'bit crazy but thats true thats the fact. When you feel the love, its like "this is it, He's the one" You'll feel the same thing as i did. Well, Im not trying to say that he's a God or something its just that i really really do fall in love with him. I felt so Happy while im with him, I felt the love in/on our relationship. He makes me realize what love's about, whats life and some stuff stuff. Back when, I was CLOSE to gave up upon love thingy, couples and stuff about love. But then, he came and showed up in my life. I thanked to God that i found him. I found a guy named Mohd Nur Fadzly Rozeli. I thanked to God that i can sees the Real Love♥. I hope that it will stay and last forever. I hope that i wont betrayed he's trust and i hope that i won't betrayed he's &heart;.

I really really do love you, B. Seriously B, I really do and i meant it. Im glad that you choose me among the billions of girls out there and im happy while im with you. Whenever we were apart and together Missing you would never filled me by seeing you . B, you gave me happiness and love to me, you brought it back to my life. You light up my life even if the dark covered me. You make me smile and you make me happy, BUT the question is? Are you smiling? Are you happy? Are you feel the same way as i did? B, Im not some materialistic girl who cares more of money and the fame or whatever they called it this days. I don't need you to buy me a Luxurious cars and accessories or what so ever. All i ever wanted from you is Honest with me & Loyal to me. That is all i wanted from you. Sometimes every single day, time, minute and seocnds im scared of losing you. Im afraid of that, B. Im happy with you and i don't wanna loose you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and the most important thing is you are my NGHOKSETAR. I love with all my hearts and i wont stop loving you till' the day that i die. You're mine and will always be for the rest of my life. The one and my only, Bally ♥♥

Its not amazing, Its Wicked.

The past few days ago, I've been having a great times with my best sista friends, Tiena. We having a great time together just like the old time when we're in high school PLUS for this past few days, My Mother and My Dad okay okay especially my MUM. I thought after the sleep over at my friends house she would yell at me, Mad at me and stuff that she always do at me BUT now she's different * I loooiiikkee :p. Its all because of my bestie. She told me not to yell at my mother, not to say harsh words behind her back. She make me realize of everything and i thanked her for that.



Yesterday was a one day ago. My best buddies the dudes, Dao. He's more like the Doctor Love ♥♥ the LOVE GURU haha. Before this he helped me with my Ex-Boyfriend, How to deal with it stuff. Because of my dude, I have the guts to asked my "Cinta", Because of him i fall in love again Okay not with him: Dao with Dugong, haha. If he read my blogs hmm, What more can i do other than Say " Thank you". May god blessed you, Dao. Fira, haha she's lucky to have you man. Love you BROTHA.



If i weren't happy as i am right now, I would gonna say WICKED!. Life is WICKED. Friends is FREAKING WICKED. Okay so bottom line, Life is wicked when you realize it always do ;).

♥♥ You

Yo wassuuup. Good morning, Folks. Its 4:02 in the morning and im not sleeping. Well, I got a very & beyoooond great stories to wrote about. 2 o'clock an above in the morning i was on the phone with the Guy that i told you about. We were talking and laughing it was a great conversation that we had. So, at this very very important moment i asked him who am i to him and i told my feelings towards him and so he felt the same way. He told me that we are not taking the next steps but we're still in progress by knowing each other furthermore. At first i thought my love for this path the one hand, but apparently not. I was so happy and thank God that i have the guts to asked him whether he felt the same way or not. He make me happy, he gave me 'Cinta'. I wished and i hope that this 'Cinta' its not for only temporally but i was hoping that it will stay. I really love this guy and im really happy/very happy/beyond happy. I hope, by recite Doa and Pray to Allah, Insyallah he and feelings towards him would stay. July. 7th. 2010 was the most happiest day of my life.

To my dearest, Dugong. Thank you for being honest and not giving up upon me. Thank you for giving me chances to love you. Thank you for appearing in my life. Thank you for making me happy and making the day 'Happy'. I know we are not officially dating BUT seriously i got to tell you, i never felt like this before. I never felt this kind of happy feelings before and i never felt like this kind of love before. Seriously, You make it happened. After you said those 3 magic words to me, i melt and i believing it because i wanted too. I just cant stop smiling, laughing and happy and plus i can't sleep tonight because you make me not to fall asleep tonight. Your love words drove me crazy and insane :D. I love ♥♥ so so much, Dugong :).

Love/Cinta ♥♥♥

Hello, good morning folks. Its 9:37 in the morning, I just ate Wedges with tomato sauce for my breakfast *buuurrrpp! excuse me, Haha. Well, I surf my Facebook and viewing my friends page and blogs. I must say that im happy for them. Having a sweet relationship and i wished i could have a boyfriend and accepted me for who i am. I don't know why, Ever since i broke up with my Ex-Boyfriend i went out and hanging out with my friends and i was encounters with people who are in love. Seeing them & watching them happy i am so missed the moments of love that i used to have. It is a great and beyond great moment ever when you have a right lover's be by your side. Having a relationship with the one you love its not complicated, We make it complicated than it shouldn't seems to be.You and lover's have got to build your love together, Work together. the talking, The truth, The honesty, The trust, The believe is very important in 'Relationship'. When it all blend together i bet you and your lover's can/will have a great long lasting relationship together. Too bad that loner plus lonesome.


Im in love with someone that i close with. He is same age as mine. He's currently studying at W.M and i don't know what exactly course he taking but i know he's taking cooking class and yesterday was he's first day entering the college at W.M. He used to accompany me at Facebook and in the night. We're so close together. Well actually, We aren't officially dating. He's just a special friend of mine. I must say that i like him. I don't know if he felt the same way as i did but every steps that i take every words that i said to him, I did not/don't want to fall too soon and jump too soon. My friend told me that just go with the flow and i did. I am following his lead and i took the steps he take. *sigh* Somewhere in my heart i missed him. I Love You and I Missed You, Dugong ♥♥♥.

Weeehuuu! I am so happy, very happy and beyond happy. Today i went to Imkeda, Cheras to take my driving JPJ test Exam. So, I was sitting and watching people went out to the car smiling and happy and of course i was so afraid and scared of falling again. Then, After a while i was sitting and waiting for my turn to and then after the Chinese girl It was my turned for me to drove. My hands were shacking my legs are also shacking and the JPJ Guy he was talked to me and said that no need to feel afraid and blablabla and i was i like *ehem okay*. I drove the car and then i reached to the Imkeda and i saw my marks are 17 and above and i was like *YEAYYY!* and so I passed the JPJ Test. Thank God, that i passed my test and today was the most happiest day of my life. Im happy, my dads happy, My mums happy, My cats happy. So everybody's happy. Heeeeeeeee ♥♥

Both of them ♥♥

Boring, facebooking & listening to music, Plus i miss my friends. They all alredy gone fly away for further studies. Im sitting here in this lonely house and watching the rains flowing down, Wishing they are safe and success. So, the past few days i started to realize of what i said before to both of my parents of all those harsh words in my blogger. Yeah, i shouldn't said those bad words to them. I wouldn't be alive if they weren't besides me. I wouldn't be healthy and have a house to shelter by rain and sunrise. I love them with all my heart they are everything to me. They feed me, they give me allowance and stuff and everything. They are so special to me. I don't know how to said im sorry and all of my faults. Im not brave to say that im sorry of what i just said those words towards them. Hmmmm, i guess im too selfish to think about my own feelings and needed but then i didnt think about theirs. I love them but then im scared they left me without any expectation/ so suddenly. Im sorry and i love you mak and abah ♥

Rest in peace R.I.P

Somewhere in heaven my late friend Alex is sad i guess. I never told to anyone or anybody or even everybody about a person & a friend called Alex, He's a friend of mine in my hometown, Singapore. He's of course Chinese and im of course Malay. Back when we were so close and and we're like best bud's ever. Every time i go back to my hometown, Singapore. We're always go hang out together. And Last year Chinese new year i celebrated with his family. Me and his family were like my family too. They are so friendly and kind to me. Every time if i had a problem or needed help. His always be the first and the last to know about and help me. He was my hero of my life. We weren't dating, we were best bud's, we were brother's and sister's. Ever since he died, I was so speechless and all of the memories that we shared will never disappear. Every night, i wished that i could meet him in my dreams one day/someday/sooner or later. Every time i go back to Singapore, i miss the place we we used to hang out, I miss the late night baseketball court that we bet & dare to throw the balls at the night guard shift. I miss the time you came to my Grandmother's house played with my grandmothers dog's, Bobo *He missed you too, Alex. There are great memories and moments that i wont forget. He was my hero, my brother and he was my best buddies. He helped me a lot and he never asked for return. To me, he was the most MACHO MAN & the COOLEST GUY ever. He teach me a lot about life, About love, About true friends, About dogs, you name it. He was a brilliant and intelligent guy/firends that i ever met.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there i do not sleep,
I am a thousands that blow,
I am the diamonds glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain,
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night,
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die"
One day before he died, he read those words to me. I don't know where he got it from and where but i guess this are nice and beautiful words, I miss you leng chai, <33

Can i playback Life?

Last friday was the most Lala bang and the best day i ever had. Me my friend, Tiena and my sista, Maryam went to Green Box; JJ Cheras Selatan. We're dancing, We're singing*like hell and we're laughig*terbaik duh!. We had a lot of fun together and happy together. Wish i could stop the time and replay the moments that we shared ;)













Those are the picture that i love the most :)

Religious "do not quot the words if you dont fully understand"

For the past few days and weeks ago, I've been reading religious book 'The Holy Bible' books. Well, i don't know why i read it but i think i kinda like it though. Its very interesting and it makes me want to read more and more and more. Well, i guess its not wrong for me to read it, Right?. I mean its not wrong for me or other people to read instead of our own racist books. Im interested about the bible, whats in the contents of the book. There's has a number and it always stands two numbers instead of one and in every numbers has a different/own meanings. To me instead of Recite Al-Quran why not we read about other racist instead of ours, To know, To understand, the meaning, the text, the numbers all of it its interesting. Its hard for me to undersatnd, people in this generation is unlike people back when in 60's 70's and 80's, Malay, Chinese and Indians are together like not bother about different racist and different culture, they just go hang out together. But now days, people in living 2010 generations are not like the Oldies people. Now days, If Malay - Malay, Chinese - Chinese, Indians - Indians. Why cant we live together?, Why cant we go hang out together?, Why cant we live peacefully, Harmony and in one group has a different racist?, Im not trying to brag myself like im the peace person, im the one nations person, Its not like that. What im trying to explain is that why cant we live in one big group that has a different racist and culture's? Isn't that awesome? To have a friend like that and knowing their culture. Yeah, just like i said "I don't see what you see, You don't see what i see."




The Holy Bible.


AL-Qur'an.




One Malaysia

Ever heard of " Dont jump to soon"

Have you ever had a crush on someone that you like and you think he's the one who can change everything in your life like "he's the hero of your life" and you wanna make love with him like "in serious relationship"? Yeah, I've been there. Well, at first i was like "this is it, He's the one" But then when i found out that he has a girlfriend while he dated with me and the best part is he cheated on me and lied to me. I was so broken and its really speechless to say how sad i am, how broken i am. He broke my heart and he only said to me "im sorry i cant make you happy i cant be the right guy for you and blablabla" And i was like he still have a shot to try to be the one. Its seems like im not the lucky girl to find Mr SO RIGHT GUY. He treated me so kind and so generous but then he's just one of them, The guy who like to make girls life misserable it is "the player a.k.a sweet talker shit mother fucker". I can't believe i fall for him too soon, I cant believe he treated me like one. Well, I can forget that mother fucker but i cant forget and forgive him of what he did to me *dont get me wrong, me and him, we never ever eveeerrr make out or what so ever they called it this days*. This kind of guy i really really wanted to "ERADICATION". They just dont get it aren't they? Me and all the girls out there we just wanna live and be free but not like this. Why cant we live in peacefully like no enemy no fighting no lies and stuff, Huh? I am speaking be half of all girls in the entire universe/whole world to speak out loud to guys out there in the whole world "STOP CHEATING" with us we're just a girl who want to live freely and peacefully, no world war 3" Ohhh my, I wish im a guy and i can speak like the real MACHO MAN thingy.

*If i were a GUY, I wont treated girls like this kind of thing. If i were a GUY i wont dated to someone that im not into it. If i were a GUY i would be like MACHO MAN like Elvis Persly He's the legend of PRO EVOL/LOVE.*

Him . . .

You say your love on me,
Say you miss on me,
You say sweet words to me,
But where such a loss of words?
Where do you put me on your self?

There is no doubt that I love your self,
And do not deny that I longed for your personal,
I am here waiting for your presence,
I do not know how to arrange the exact words to me stating how sad I am,
Not why I do not want you to know I have this sad feeling.

My self here in the state you want to be alarmed Do not you think I am here,
My self I want to state how much you love yourself wholeheartedly,
I do not want to be the highest, but I just want to make the best so that you happy with me,
I loved your self,
what is wrong for me to say this?
the one for me along with you?

I need you in my well,
I need you with me during the course of our love together,
I want to be your own until the end of my life,
I want to be owned by you only for you alone.
I want to be just you alone.

Will I realized the mistake I am against thee;
will I know the offensive words that I say to you,
all our sources such as I,
I do not understand your,
I am not listening to your self,
Maybe there disgrace me.

Bridge of love we do not end here only
Still much for us to explore,
Still much to our experience,
is still much for us to learn,
I do not want to miss you so alone,
I do not want to lose you so just,
because I am here is you love yourself,
What are you aware of the presence of my love to you?
What I am full of you know my love to you?

"I still raw to get to know thee;
Still a lot for me to understand your personal,
I do not know too much about your self in,
They're traveling to the area you are guiding me
I am slowly learning to be your self.
Original you know I was very happy to be your personal presence in my life,
me, I really do not think like this,
I want to love you as your mother loves you,
I would like to keep you as you protect your father.

Very heavy for me to escape you,
You have half of my heart of hearts,
you have half of my self,
Too heavy to bear I give you,
Because I do not want our love journey ended here ..

My life, Myself but wheres everybody?

"I stand in this world
with no one to guide me, teach me
What I am alone?
What I dislike in others?.

I live like a rock
just sit in a corner,
waiting for the soccer and handball,
collected when needed or to decorate in a place
I reveal what is in this?
I live in what I treat this?.

I am alone in the world I live even though no one bother me, I do not own or have owned one. Because I am not forget by anyone. I do not need or in need of any sympathy for the reader but simply idea and understand what is written by the author.

I am me,
Comes in the name of the set,
I do not have any or any adequate,
I have never been happier,
just outside my laugh, I smile, is just a ploy for me not to cry in front of the feeling of friends I have,
I do not need so that they know the comfort of a friend only.

In the eyes of my parents,
I like the dickens pests,
Because there is no perfect what I do,
what I say all is not well used,
In life no one loves me and accept me as me.
I am just alone at home and even her in the world I live. No one can make sense of serenity and comfort.
My life is kind of lifeless,
Tomorrow, nothing changed.

All this will continue until any.
the continuous growing problem this is my life.
No one can improve my life or there is no solution that can make my life with peace of mind. I live there is not necessarily the end all problems have solutions and the problem will not necessarily continue. Life is full of confusion but that is life right."

My life is full of complicated. No one understands me, Or at least hear me what im trying to say. Its been 18years i been through all this shit. No one can hear me, nobody can see what i see and i cant see what they see. See, I live in a very different world.

Lonely Day

Im alone in the house and im doing nothing . I keep on watching Disturbia again and again and again and it sucks . I know every script of "Disturbia". Gossshh!, Why my life is like this i mean like soooo miserable and very lonely . I woke up in the early morning doing nothing and watching tv . I played piano and playing the same old song and i freaking bored . Maybe i should try playing guitar and bang bang the system of a down song "Lonely Day", Hmmm . I think to me its like friends is like your ghost its like they never lived . Its more like they never exist in your life like never ever . Well most recently i lived with/without them . When i was 17 when my dad or mum left the car in the house i used to take the car without permission . But now i just get bored with doing that . Thats just sooo immature type .

SYSTEM OF A DOWN - LONELY DAY

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you

Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Life

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived

Beautifully Broken ..

Last few days ago, Im texting with this guy and thi guy said that he want me to be his girlfriend but he was scared for me to be his girlfriend because of the girls who may or may not be beautiful . But i risk myself to accept him to be he's . Well after a 3 to 4 days it went well and okay and then we had a fought because he didnt even text or gimme a call . Yeah i know its just a small thing well to tell you the truth im a bit lonely and i need someone to talk to . Yeah i know you've been busy with your scath and stuff and girls *uuurrrghh sucks! . I dont know if he still aware that im his girlfriend or just his scandal . Yeah i cried yesterday because of this guy, Stupid huh ? Yeahh i know . I think i know what it feels like to be soooo lonely and its like you live alone nobody theres for you . I think i feel what my ex's feels lik when he needed me but im not thehe for him . It really hurts me deep inside my heart . Am i "perasan" or what ? Damn it . Love does makes one happy but to me love hurts me . It keep on going again and again i dont know how i want to make this love thinggy happily ever after . *urghhh, SUCKS!.


You and you go, Later you looking for me . Or is it me looking for you ? Why ? You miss me ? . Yeah, I dont understand so make me understand whats going on . To be honest i dont believe what you say to me so make me believe it . You need the truth here is it . There you have it, a delighted truth with some honesty in/on it . Thats what you want and thats what you get, Happy? . Yeah yeah, Karma huh ? Thats what its all about . I dont believe in karma but the situation make me wanna believe it because you make the situation to make me belive it . There is never too late to said sorry but at the same time i dont need you're sorry .

Painfully broken

Its been a quite long i didnt post anything . A month ago and until now i've been through hard times . Its really sad that im unlike the others have a great time with their family, laughing and joy . Sometimes i feel like i live in my own life, like no one even cared about me . Yeah i really do dont understand what they really wanted from me . They just keep on ruinning my life and make it harder and misserable . I wonder why they didnt ruinning my brother . Yeah they just love my brother than me like hes the genius or whatever they called it, It really hurts so bad and im so fucking jelous about that . My life it isnt like what you see or what it looks like, Its just a "Propa" . To me friends comes first wether i have a good friend, best friend or whatever friend that i have, they come first . But thats the problem, I have a friend like no friends, and is difficult when looking for clever, happy if it just went like that . Too bad i have a friend like that . They just want to shared my life easily meteriallistic . Life is so cruel and unfair like very very unfair to me . Im all alone facing this lame problem, I cant barely go further i just need someone that i can count on i mean more like boyfriend *daaaa*, Like i have one . *Sigh* i just wish that i died someday in peacefully,

Silence makes me calm, Pain makes me scream, Darkness makes me scared :(