Beautifully Broken ..

Last few days ago, Im texting with this guy and thi guy said that he want me to be his girlfriend but he was scared for me to be his girlfriend because of the girls who may or may not be beautiful . But i risk myself to accept him to be he's . Well after a 3 to 4 days it went well and okay and then we had a fought because he didnt even text or gimme a call . Yeah i know its just a small thing well to tell you the truth im a bit lonely and i need someone to talk to . Yeah i know you've been busy with your scath and stuff and girls *uuurrrghh sucks! . I dont know if he still aware that im his girlfriend or just his scandal . Yeah i cried yesterday because of this guy, Stupid huh ? Yeahh i know . I think i know what it feels like to be soooo lonely and its like you live alone nobody theres for you . I think i feel what my ex's feels lik when he needed me but im not thehe for him . It really hurts me deep inside my heart . Am i "perasan" or what ? Damn it . Love does makes one happy but to me love hurts me . It keep on going again and again i dont know how i want to make this love thinggy happily ever after . *urghhh, SUCKS!.


You and you go, Later you looking for me . Or is it me looking for you ? Why ? You miss me ? . Yeah, I dont understand so make me understand whats going on . To be honest i dont believe what you say to me so make me believe it . You need the truth here is it . There you have it, a delighted truth with some honesty in/on it . Thats what you want and thats what you get, Happy? . Yeah yeah, Karma huh ? Thats what its all about . I dont believe in karma but the situation make me wanna believe it because you make the situation to make me belive it . There is never too late to said sorry but at the same time i dont need you're sorry .

Painfully broken

Its been a quite long i didnt post anything . A month ago and until now i've been through hard times . Its really sad that im unlike the others have a great time with their family, laughing and joy . Sometimes i feel like i live in my own life, like no one even cared about me . Yeah i really do dont understand what they really wanted from me . They just keep on ruinning my life and make it harder and misserable . I wonder why they didnt ruinning my brother . Yeah they just love my brother than me like hes the genius or whatever they called it, It really hurts so bad and im so fucking jelous about that . My life it isnt like what you see or what it looks like, Its just a "Propa" . To me friends comes first wether i have a good friend, best friend or whatever friend that i have, they come first . But thats the problem, I have a friend like no friends, and is difficult when looking for clever, happy if it just went like that . Too bad i have a friend like that . They just want to shared my life easily meteriallistic . Life is so cruel and unfair like very very unfair to me . Im all alone facing this lame problem, I cant barely go further i just need someone that i can count on i mean more like boyfriend *daaaa*, Like i have one . *Sigh* i just wish that i died someday in peacefully,

Silence makes me calm, Pain makes me scream, Darkness makes me scared :(