Rest in peace R.I.P

Somewhere in heaven my late friend Alex is sad i guess. I never told to anyone or anybody or even everybody about a person & a friend called Alex, He's a friend of mine in my hometown, Singapore. He's of course Chinese and im of course Malay. Back when we were so close and and we're like best bud's ever. Every time i go back to my hometown, Singapore. We're always go hang out together. And Last year Chinese new year i celebrated with his family. Me and his family were like my family too. They are so friendly and kind to me. Every time if i had a problem or needed help. His always be the first and the last to know about and help me. He was my hero of my life. We weren't dating, we were best bud's, we were brother's and sister's. Ever since he died, I was so speechless and all of the memories that we shared will never disappear. Every night, i wished that i could meet him in my dreams one day/someday/sooner or later. Every time i go back to Singapore, i miss the place we we used to hang out, I miss the late night baseketball court that we bet & dare to throw the balls at the night guard shift. I miss the time you came to my Grandmother's house played with my grandmothers dog's, Bobo *He missed you too, Alex. There are great memories and moments that i wont forget. He was my hero, my brother and he was my best buddies. He helped me a lot and he never asked for return. To me, he was the most MACHO MAN & the COOLEST GUY ever. He teach me a lot about life, About love, About true friends, About dogs, you name it. He was a brilliant and intelligent guy/firends that i ever met.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there i do not sleep,
I am a thousands that blow,
I am the diamonds glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain,
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night,
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die"
One day before he died, he read those words to me. I don't know where he got it from and where but i guess this are nice and beautiful words, I miss you leng chai, <33

Can i playback Life?

Last friday was the most Lala bang and the best day i ever had. Me my friend, Tiena and my sista, Maryam went to Green Box; JJ Cheras Selatan. We're dancing, We're singing*like hell and we're laughig*terbaik duh!. We had a lot of fun together and happy together. Wish i could stop the time and replay the moments that we shared ;)













Those are the picture that i love the most :)

Religious "do not quot the words if you dont fully understand"

For the past few days and weeks ago, I've been reading religious book 'The Holy Bible' books. Well, i don't know why i read it but i think i kinda like it though. Its very interesting and it makes me want to read more and more and more. Well, i guess its not wrong for me to read it, Right?. I mean its not wrong for me or other people to read instead of our own racist books. Im interested about the bible, whats in the contents of the book. There's has a number and it always stands two numbers instead of one and in every numbers has a different/own meanings. To me instead of Recite Al-Quran why not we read about other racist instead of ours, To know, To understand, the meaning, the text, the numbers all of it its interesting. Its hard for me to undersatnd, people in this generation is unlike people back when in 60's 70's and 80's, Malay, Chinese and Indians are together like not bother about different racist and different culture, they just go hang out together. But now days, people in living 2010 generations are not like the Oldies people. Now days, If Malay - Malay, Chinese - Chinese, Indians - Indians. Why cant we live together?, Why cant we go hang out together?, Why cant we live peacefully, Harmony and in one group has a different racist?, Im not trying to brag myself like im the peace person, im the one nations person, Its not like that. What im trying to explain is that why cant we live in one big group that has a different racist and culture's? Isn't that awesome? To have a friend like that and knowing their culture. Yeah, just like i said "I don't see what you see, You don't see what i see."




The Holy Bible.


AL-Qur'an.




One Malaysia

Ever heard of " Dont jump to soon"

Have you ever had a crush on someone that you like and you think he's the one who can change everything in your life like "he's the hero of your life" and you wanna make love with him like "in serious relationship"? Yeah, I've been there. Well, at first i was like "this is it, He's the one" But then when i found out that he has a girlfriend while he dated with me and the best part is he cheated on me and lied to me. I was so broken and its really speechless to say how sad i am, how broken i am. He broke my heart and he only said to me "im sorry i cant make you happy i cant be the right guy for you and blablabla" And i was like he still have a shot to try to be the one. Its seems like im not the lucky girl to find Mr SO RIGHT GUY. He treated me so kind and so generous but then he's just one of them, The guy who like to make girls life misserable it is "the player a.k.a sweet talker shit mother fucker". I can't believe i fall for him too soon, I cant believe he treated me like one. Well, I can forget that mother fucker but i cant forget and forgive him of what he did to me *dont get me wrong, me and him, we never ever eveeerrr make out or what so ever they called it this days*. This kind of guy i really really wanted to "ERADICATION". They just dont get it aren't they? Me and all the girls out there we just wanna live and be free but not like this. Why cant we live in peacefully like no enemy no fighting no lies and stuff, Huh? I am speaking be half of all girls in the entire universe/whole world to speak out loud to guys out there in the whole world "STOP CHEATING" with us we're just a girl who want to live freely and peacefully, no world war 3" Ohhh my, I wish im a guy and i can speak like the real MACHO MAN thingy.

*If i were a GUY, I wont treated girls like this kind of thing. If i were a GUY i wont dated to someone that im not into it. If i were a GUY i would be like MACHO MAN like Elvis Persly He's the legend of PRO EVOL/LOVE.*

Him . . .

You say your love on me,
Say you miss on me,
You say sweet words to me,
But where such a loss of words?
Where do you put me on your self?

There is no doubt that I love your self,
And do not deny that I longed for your personal,
I am here waiting for your presence,
I do not know how to arrange the exact words to me stating how sad I am,
Not why I do not want you to know I have this sad feeling.

My self here in the state you want to be alarmed Do not you think I am here,
My self I want to state how much you love yourself wholeheartedly,
I do not want to be the highest, but I just want to make the best so that you happy with me,
I loved your self,
what is wrong for me to say this?
the one for me along with you?

I need you in my well,
I need you with me during the course of our love together,
I want to be your own until the end of my life,
I want to be owned by you only for you alone.
I want to be just you alone.

Will I realized the mistake I am against thee;
will I know the offensive words that I say to you,
all our sources such as I,
I do not understand your,
I am not listening to your self,
Maybe there disgrace me.

Bridge of love we do not end here only
Still much for us to explore,
Still much to our experience,
is still much for us to learn,
I do not want to miss you so alone,
I do not want to lose you so just,
because I am here is you love yourself,
What are you aware of the presence of my love to you?
What I am full of you know my love to you?

"I still raw to get to know thee;
Still a lot for me to understand your personal,
I do not know too much about your self in,
They're traveling to the area you are guiding me
I am slowly learning to be your self.
Original you know I was very happy to be your personal presence in my life,
me, I really do not think like this,
I want to love you as your mother loves you,
I would like to keep you as you protect your father.

Very heavy for me to escape you,
You have half of my heart of hearts,
you have half of my self,
Too heavy to bear I give you,
Because I do not want our love journey ended here ..

My life, Myself but wheres everybody?

"I stand in this world
with no one to guide me, teach me
What I am alone?
What I dislike in others?.

I live like a rock
just sit in a corner,
waiting for the soccer and handball,
collected when needed or to decorate in a place
I reveal what is in this?
I live in what I treat this?.

I am alone in the world I live even though no one bother me, I do not own or have owned one. Because I am not forget by anyone. I do not need or in need of any sympathy for the reader but simply idea and understand what is written by the author.

I am me,
Comes in the name of the set,
I do not have any or any adequate,
I have never been happier,
just outside my laugh, I smile, is just a ploy for me not to cry in front of the feeling of friends I have,
I do not need so that they know the comfort of a friend only.

In the eyes of my parents,
I like the dickens pests,
Because there is no perfect what I do,
what I say all is not well used,
In life no one loves me and accept me as me.
I am just alone at home and even her in the world I live. No one can make sense of serenity and comfort.
My life is kind of lifeless,
Tomorrow, nothing changed.

All this will continue until any.
the continuous growing problem this is my life.
No one can improve my life or there is no solution that can make my life with peace of mind. I live there is not necessarily the end all problems have solutions and the problem will not necessarily continue. Life is full of confusion but that is life right."

My life is full of complicated. No one understands me, Or at least hear me what im trying to say. Its been 18years i been through all this shit. No one can hear me, nobody can see what i see and i cant see what they see. See, I live in a very different world.

Lonely Day

Im alone in the house and im doing nothing . I keep on watching Disturbia again and again and again and it sucks . I know every script of "Disturbia". Gossshh!, Why my life is like this i mean like soooo miserable and very lonely . I woke up in the early morning doing nothing and watching tv . I played piano and playing the same old song and i freaking bored . Maybe i should try playing guitar and bang bang the system of a down song "Lonely Day", Hmmm . I think to me its like friends is like your ghost its like they never lived . Its more like they never exist in your life like never ever . Well most recently i lived with/without them . When i was 17 when my dad or mum left the car in the house i used to take the car without permission . But now i just get bored with doing that . Thats just sooo immature type .

SYSTEM OF A DOWN - LONELY DAY

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you

Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Life

Such a lonely day
And it's mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived