Beautifully Broken ..

Last few days ago, Im texting with this guy and thi guy said that he want me to be his girlfriend but he was scared for me to be his girlfriend because of the girls who may or may not be beautiful . But i risk myself to accept him to be he's . Well after a 3 to 4 days it went well and okay and then we had a fought because he didnt even text or gimme a call . Yeah i know its just a small thing well to tell you the truth im a bit lonely and i need someone to talk to . Yeah i know you've been busy with your scath and stuff and girls *uuurrrghh sucks! . I dont know if he still aware that im his girlfriend or just his scandal . Yeah i cried yesterday because of this guy, Stupid huh ? Yeahh i know . I think i know what it feels like to be soooo lonely and its like you live alone nobody theres for you . I think i feel what my ex's feels lik when he needed me but im not thehe for him . It really hurts me deep inside my heart . Am i "perasan" or what ? Damn it . Love does makes one happy but to me love hurts me . It keep on going again and again i dont know how i want to make this love thinggy happily ever after . *urghhh, SUCKS!.


You and you go, Later you looking for me . Or is it me looking for you ? Why ? You miss me ? . Yeah, I dont understand so make me understand whats going on . To be honest i dont believe what you say to me so make me believe it . You need the truth here is it . There you have it, a delighted truth with some honesty in/on it . Thats what you want and thats what you get, Happy? . Yeah yeah, Karma huh ? Thats what its all about . I dont believe in karma but the situation make me wanna believe it because you make the situation to make me belive it . There is never too late to said sorry but at the same time i dont need you're sorry .

Painfully broken

Its been a quite long i didnt post anything . A month ago and until now i've been through hard times . Its really sad that im unlike the others have a great time with their family, laughing and joy . Sometimes i feel like i live in my own life, like no one even cared about me . Yeah i really do dont understand what they really wanted from me . They just keep on ruinning my life and make it harder and misserable . I wonder why they didnt ruinning my brother . Yeah they just love my brother than me like hes the genius or whatever they called it, It really hurts so bad and im so fucking jelous about that . My life it isnt like what you see or what it looks like, Its just a "Propa" . To me friends comes first wether i have a good friend, best friend or whatever friend that i have, they come first . But thats the problem, I have a friend like no friends, and is difficult when looking for clever, happy if it just went like that . Too bad i have a friend like that . They just want to shared my life easily meteriallistic . Life is so cruel and unfair like very very unfair to me . Im all alone facing this lame problem, I cant barely go further i just need someone that i can count on i mean more like boyfriend *daaaa*, Like i have one . *Sigh* i just wish that i died someday in peacefully,

Silence makes me calm, Pain makes me scream, Darkness makes me scared :(

Bon-Voyage my dearest friend , :(

There she is, her name is Nurul Fatinah Mustafa known as "Tiena" . We've been friends since we're in primary school : standard 1 . We have soooo much fun together and we've been through ups and downs together . There are time she annoyed me and there are times she make me happy . Shes like a sister to me, and twins though . I thank to god, that i have a chubby fatty annoying friend like her . I do apprecaite of what i have and found . I do love you, gemok :) . Well the best part is, I didnt get a chance to meet her for one fucking last long time and i didn't get a chance to followed her to go to K L I A . DAMN IT! grrrr ;( . Well, my friend did said to me; "its not like she never come back". Wanna know the ugly fugly truth ? Haha, i wished that her flight are in seriously DELAYED and her bag ended up in IRAQ HAHA :D, kinda mean huh ? HAHAHA, :D xoxo <33

love love love <33

Have you ever felt in love with someone taht you known for a long time and then you just met him for 2 days ago and have a big crush on him ?, but you didnt know tat he already has a girlfriend but at the same time he treat you as your girlfriend . Have you ever felt like the same thing i did ? . Yeah, im telling you guys it hurts me so badly . When i found out taht he already has a girlF i was so so jelous about it and i cried, and very devastated . I was bummed i dont know what to do and what to say but one thing i know is just act like nothing happend . And luckily he didn't know i had a crush on him . I hope he didnty know about this . Well, acttually nobody knows about it . But theres only one person who know about this its my friend . But she dosent know well enough to know how i feel . She does know that i like that guy thats all . gooshhh, how could i be so stupid to be in love like this . Its true what people said, love does hurt and it hurts so badly like sooo cruely, :(

Selamat Hari Raya :D

RayaRaya ahhh . Finally, i got my duit raya and main 'mercun bahaya' haha . Im so happy that all of my family were gathered together and meet my mums cousin side which is my long last relatives . I haven't seen them for an ages because my mum was busy working and i never got a chance to meet them . And since that i dah lame tak main 'meriam buluh' and at last i got a chance to play that meriam buluh HAHA . Damn awesome doee . Main lawan lawan siapa punya meriam lagi kuat dapat duit 50$ haha :D , ofcourse me and my 3 cousin's menang and the stupid-est ever im the only girl in 3 of them haha 'bodoh' :p . This year raya was a kickass raya ever . I have a lot of fun and damn chubby weyy haha sejak makan rendang grrrr!* .

Ages

Its been a while i didn't check my blogs and emails . Well, what to do been busy with my trials and spm preparation . Now, i get a chance to surf internet .

Well, today is a hari raya celebration . EVERYBOOODY are que-ing to get 'DUIT RAYA' haha $$$ ( now we're talking :p ) . i cant wait to buy a new phone and go SHOPPING hehe :p . Well folks , so long . and have a kickass raya ! ;)

I wish i was there :(

Its all started at this morning . My boyfriends friend called me and he told me that my boyf ( Fiq ) in the hospital excident . A guy who drove the car is drunk and this bloody drunk guy tried to killed my borfriend *grrrr ! damn you bloody foolish hell! , but i dont bothered about that drunk guy, my thoughts and mind only thinked about him . I was so devastated and very sad :( . One whole day, i was busy crying about him . I told to myboyfriends friend ( rimie ), please take a good care of him, dont let him do this and that and asked him to eat this and that and so on . I hope he will be just fine and pray for him .

Gooosshhh! i wish i was there to take care of him, i wish i was there when he was sick, i wish i was there when he needed me . Now i started realised how much im in love with him, seriously i had a very deeply feelings towards him, now he's in the hospital and its like something missing like something is not enough . Every single night, he used to called me and stuff . I really missed his sweet voice , i wonder how he feels right now . hmmmm .. :(